Polite Ways to Tell Your Roommate You Need to Use The Bathroom That Don’t Involve The Fact You Have to Drop a Deuce

Hey Chris! Just wondering how much longer you’re going to be using the bathroom. I need to refill my Nalgene with a lot of fresh toilet water, because I really love it. It tastes very good. It’s going to take about 10 minutes. Thanks!

Chris! I actually left a bunch of important stuff in the trash, like all the money in my savings account, and have to dig it out right now. Mind if I steal the bathroom for a quick 10-15?

Hey Chris! Just FYI: the shower is full of bees. Thought you might want to know since you’re allergic and all. In fact, I know how to get rid of them. Will only take 10-15 minutes.

I need to call my tax attorney and I get the best reception when I sit on the toilet with my pants down. Thanks Chris!

Chris, you there? I’m actually going to shut off the water to conserve it because that’s something that I care about right now. You might as well leave the bathroom. Thanks!

Yowch! I just got bit by a brown recluse. Something tells me I should probably get first dibs on the bathroom to clean this cut out before things get out of hand. Not trying to play the blame game Chris, but if this eats away at any more of my arm, it’s your fault. Also, I don’t have insurance. Thanks buddy!

Chrisss. I need to look at myself through the reflection of the toilet water. Except with my butt. I know, it’s kind of weird. But I’m glad that you accept me for who I am and we’ve built a healthy roommate relationship. Anyway, my butt is waiting! Haha!

Hey Chris! This is embarrassing, but I really have to “go number one” as they say. I had a bit too much fun with my new soda stream over the weekend, and long story short, I've been holding in my "number one" for about 3 days. Should only take about 10-15 minutes to let out this "number one." Thanks so much buddy!